| @nep "So I Married an Axe Murderer" - it's almost all witty dialogue without too many visuals, and I used to have a… https://t.co/WqLSAluNvH | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| And in case it hadn't occurred to you, even if the target of your nonconsensual roasting does laugh or perhaps isn'… https://t.co/tfY9q4AIcn | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I'm so sick of this "haha, I'm being hilariously cruel and people just can't take a joke these days" thing. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| If your idea of a "joke" is to roast someone, and laugh, and then blame their failure to laugh on lack of a sense o… https://t.co/WG1k4hFUlG | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @SnarkySteff This Argentinian wine is great and currently on sale for $11.99 at BCL https://t.co/UBA6Nwbrnk | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I was craving pizza but didn't have anything for a crust so I put cheese and tomato sauce on a flour tortilla and b… https://t.co/CHazoTsTKf | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Me: I ran out of leftover pizza and just dipped my finger in the ranch dressing to finish it. Priest: Also a little weird, but not a sin. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @SenFoongLim Another one for you: Chronic Illness. Especially when the other designers have the childcare problem a… https://t.co/e6tDXm92pI | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @CatalogScanner #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/1trC5HK6tu | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Racist jokes are the tools white supremacist folks create to recruit casual racists into doing the work of normaliz… https://t.co/zgxas7ci2T | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @catalogscanner #ag https://t.co/eXI2BIk1TG | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @IamDanielChai It would be so delightfully confusing https://t.co/Hqr4ZteWju | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @SofiaWesterlund @HarvardBiz @tashaeurich Just listening to this now, and was looking up the origin of @tashaeurich 's quote | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Ancient humans discovering chili peppers: This food hurts. Let's eat more of them. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @CALCocoReads Pro tip: Butter-sized tupperware for the fridge. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @KurtKohlstedt: We interrupt your regularly scheduled doomscrolling to bring you a joyful deer prancing across a beach at sunrise 🦌 🌅 ht… | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @HossmanAtHome Like at our family reunion in 1990 when my mom told my teenage brother "Why are you bored? There are… https://t.co/OreoQZAg9U | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Devices: My volume setting will literally blow your speakers at 22. Manufacturers: Cool, let's make it go up to 50. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| OK #MyTwitterAnniversary https://t.co/QimawaHLHM | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Me: Buys a basil plant to have fresh basil leaves whenever I want it. Also Me: Buys a package of basil leaves becau… https://t.co/uyXinlGKLt | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @soapachu Yep https://t.co/eq4icJqiq1 | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @soapachu #BeeSides https://t.co/iMbbbYye7k | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @rixxrin: I’ll be blunt: A lot of you would not have supported Martin Luther King Jr. back in the day. You would have supported the Bir… | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @ingernet All day long I felt like it was someone’s birthday besides my boss. So I innately remembered, just didn’t connect whose. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Getting a little tired of "my husband is a cop and he's nice." Um, cool? But there's no gold star for "finished a w… https://t.co/13RKenJGTb | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @corinnaliscumb Right? "Maybe police would actually focus their 'serve and protect' roles better WITHOUT being all… https://t.co/PQEnKrAS5a | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @corinnaliscumb I'm sorry. The least I can say is that I know what it's like, a but. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| History teachers of the future: Okay, now we're just going to skip forward to 2020 when everything happened. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I just used the old cliché "places to go, people to see, things to do" and realized that sounds patently stupid during a pandemic. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| And there was this one week during the pandemic where everybody started making weird foamy coffee. And then, just a… https://t.co/2AQB3WTI7W | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @moritherapy Got into a comment war once with a famous French board game designer over his new Native American them… https://t.co/kkslCB1mGl | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Me playing Animal Crossing: “What is with some of these crazy home furnishings? Nobody buys a terracotta warrior fo… https://t.co/22iMjmiTkL | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @DuaneStorey One of my offshore coworkers told me about "Family Man" on prime, an Indian crime drama where a man is… https://t.co/lQr8AljCTV | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @Dennisiskuku This morning I remembered the grounds but forgot to put the cup under the machine. I'm right there with you bud. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @nep COVID-19 hasn't even changed the American psyche while it's actively happening. :'( | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @corinnaliscumb https://t.co/cuz1hLJG4G | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @ssmarni A couple of our little neighbourhood markets do that: You tell them what you need at the front door and th… https://t.co/6K6YcUC3Nr | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @howardtayler: "Every time you break isolation, someone will die," said the djinn. "But it will be a person you do not know." "Harsh,… | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @cogno Can’t, because I wouldn’t have read your question. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @corinnaliscumb https://t.co/KnTDl5ptFn | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @BermudezWrites A helpful article https://t.co/KnTDl5ptFn | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| It figures that International Women's Day is 4.1% shorter than all the other days. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @dtinney53 So far away-hay-hay | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I was walking through the park and there was a big noise behind me and I looked and it was a flock of seagulls and I ran.... | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @MOSAICBC: Matt Musselman talks cultural power dynamics & that Canada is one of least hierarchical structures in world#IPC2019 https://t… | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| The bakery charged me $6 for a basic fruit-filled pastry and I thought man the turnover is high in this place. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| No one has mis-tagged me when talking about shellfish since Nov 2018, and honestly it's a little lonely these days. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Why don't people named Jennifer just walk into Starbuckses and take whatever web order is sitting there with their… https://t.co/wu7xTp8vwz | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| An espresso machine is basically an Instant Pot for coffee. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| A california roll is just a crab burrito. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| 20 minutes ago I started singing the words “egg separator” to the tune of “Smooth Operator” and now I can’t stop an… https://t.co/ndObuLaVnY | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| When someone's jokes are usually racist or sexist, they're telling you who they are: Someone whose laughter always… https://t.co/joYI7mwkNr | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Scarborough Fair? I wanted to go again this year but didn't have the thyme. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @Tarahanstown @GeorgeStLive @oreillys_pub @Yellowbellybrew @ShamrockCityPub @kellyspub104 @greensleevespub… https://t.co/DWUA1QpG42 | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| That friend who has visited like 30 different countries and their living room is full of various knickknacks from a… https://t.co/3uzdjwWi5f | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| That kid in school who was a member of every club (yearbook, drama club, science club, band, student council, etc)… https://t.co/r7CqoA1KEF | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary https://t.co/eNB5GfFjMM | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @ItsDanSheehan: Rick & Morty should do an episode about how Rick's second favorite sauce is Universal Healthcare | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @Miss604: RT @vanmayorsoffice: Latest numbers are over 4,000 here at the rally to #StandUptoRacism #vanpoli https://t.co/UH4bcrw1ZU | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @CTVVancouver: Watch live: Thousands of people are at Vancouver City Hall right now demonstrating against racism https://t.co/NJFEE8VjhH… | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Dude at party: Hey, I know you! Aren't you that guy that hung that list of theses on the cathedral at Wittenberg? Martin Luther: Nailed it. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Sometimes I wonder how many more saucy Shakespearean insults we missed out on simply because they didn't fit iambic pentameter. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Dim sum employee training materials, by Nine Inch Nails: "Bao down before the one you serve." | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| My name is Indigo Montons. You activated my phone's autocorrect. Prepare to diet. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Knock knock. Who's there? Canada. Canada who? We're sorry. The punchline to this joke is not available in your country. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @wenderflonium Yeah, I find real experts show how they're good. The fake ones are the ones always telling everyone. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| When you're literally the only person in a big crowd who cheers at something. Awkward. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @SBA4thString @timarland If I'm going to get "just okay" healthcare anyway, I'm much happier to get a 90% discount on it. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @Reltio wanted to talk to you guys at Dreamforce16 but no booth. Arrange a meeting? | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @filmfest_ca Between those extremes, there's a whole spectrum of "musicians' musicians" that have some neo fans, but mostly pros. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @filmfest_ca I think there's a lot of avante garde work in that category. e.g. Schoenberg, Ives. But that's the other extreme. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @filmfest_ca Don't know about "only" but frequently there are musicians I appreciate way more because "Hey, I saw what you did there!" | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @theamysituation And when I moved to Canada from Texas in 2004, politics certainly factored in (but mostly for a job here) | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @theamysituation my friend @ddrucker moved to Canada directly because Bush won in 2004, if you want to meet a real life example. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I had planned to make my own haggis from scratch, but then realized I didn't have the stomach for it. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @Edhed Happy Birthday! (Airports or no) | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @DeepForger Please make a forgery from my photo! https://t.co/IP0Aokb3bA | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @danaditomaso Cool! Thanks for keeping the playlist alive! | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @Edhed It's as if the leader of a Canadian province is really into Star Wars. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @unsuicide thinkFull was developed with content from @CMHABC, @mindyourmind_ca, et al, +consultation with psychiatrists and focus groups. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Holiday stress getting to you? My team's IOS app can help remind you to focus on what's important. https://t.co/uNOWQ5UE2b #bethinkFull | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @DrElaineChin: Great new app, everyone should give this a try https://t.co/ZsKYva7Qm2 | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @thinkfull It's been a long time since you used your Twitter account. Wondering if you'd be willing to part with it? | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @timhoven What was the secret to getting Humin to work with your TELUS voicemail? I'm having the same problem. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Any experienced Enterprise Architects in Vancouver or Toronto looking for a great job opportunity? Apply here https://t.co/5Vy2EZdnX0 | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Found some pretty cool PowerPoint mockup templates for my new mobile app work. Nice. http://t.co/AzB53AiL9a via @keynotopia | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @mtblackmon Indeed. Love me some frites, though, and Belgian food & beverages in general. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @mtblackmon Yes, that's the way it's supposed to be done. Sadly, highly allergic to #mussels. #irony. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @PEIFlavours I don't recall @Wiggidy_Whack taking any photos of me. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Questions for TELUS? Ask them here: http://t.co/iYllaZlkLF | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @VanObserver: Does bad service still get 15 percent tip in Vancouver? -- http://t.co/P8eUPcOH7q | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @dbarefoot: I think "to de-cc", as in "remove from the CC field" should become a thing. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Wow this week went by fast. Happy Friday! What kind of wonderful is planned for your weekend? | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Stephen Sadove Saks CEO: instead of EBITDA, Wall Street SHOULD be asking "How are your people? How is your culture?" @ChesterElton #TheArtOf | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| If you lead not because you like it, but because you care so much you do it anyway, people will line up to follow you. #TheArtOf @susancain | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @joshduv re Nemo being extrovert, dad being introvert: totally. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Extroverted fish may get more food and mates, but also are the ones who swim straight into the trap. @susancain at #TheArtOf Leadership | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| "By the time introverts finalize what they want to say, the meeting is already over." @susancain at #TheArtOf Leadership | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @rcousine I think Ron Johnson overestimated his customers. Exciting pseudobargains just sell better than dull everyday better prices. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Don't just copy others. Your challenge is to find what is unique about you and make it useful. @mwbuckingham at #TheArtOf Leadership | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| "You are never going to get better as a leader by trying to apply strengths you simply don't have." @mwbuckingham at #TheArtOf | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Apple's culture is to serve people who are "geeked out by lickable technology." So sleek you want to lick it. @mwbuckingham #TheArtOf | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| What's the difference between a wildly successful store and a failing one? It's the leader, stupid. @mwbuckingham at #TheArtOf Leadership | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Excited to hear Marcus Buckingham speak at #TheArtOf Leadership. Leadership Development in the Age of the Algorithm. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Nordstrom Rule #1: Use good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules. #theartof | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Love no longer exists at work. Good leaders know how to bring love back out of the closet. John Mackey at #theartof Leadership | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Anyone else I know attending #TheArtOf Leadership conference today? | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I've been doing my epic chores and just leveled-up. I'm a Level 2 Stooping Dwarven Nerd-Do-Well now! #EpicWin http://t.co/eZ2RyQg6gA | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Thanks for the great Oracle presentation at TELUS this morning, @OracleAskTom. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| #VanILoveYouBecause you have the coolest urban wildlife anywhere. I don't care I they're sometimes a nuisance; they can live here too. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| "Vote now and an 8GB USB flash drive could be yours." They cost $6.99 at Future Shop. Vendor contest, you'll have to try harder. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Had a great time Saturday building a community garden in Surrey for TELUS Day of Giving! #CYDI #TDOG | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| RT @jonnachicago: The youngest @Schlafly fan! #Schlafly Summer http://t.co/Rtc0G3vD | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Here's how records give you more of what you want! http://t.co/CDjPzy1t | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| @cogno From my own quitting exp, be cruel to be kind. Check up on them. Allow them no exceptions. They'll thank you later. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| I'm not even watching the game this time, and it's still making me a crazy person. #Canucks | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Treated myself to a professional shave with my haircut today at Waverley Barbershop downtown. Hot towels, lotion ... Man, am I relaxed now. | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Don't know if Yann Tiersen is going to be good but the opening act, Breathe Owl Breathe, was awesome fun. :) | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Doesn’t it seem odd that folks who work for you... http://t.co/8Ynf7Cr via @bingofuel | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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| Played #StoneAge today http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/34635 #bggplay | |
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Posted On: 21st, July 2021 |
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